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Do you know if he’s home?”“I’m not sure. He flew to Phoenix very early this morning and he’s scheduled to come back tonight.”“What’s he doing up there?”“According to Mom he’s meeting with some of the professors at Arizona State to discuss their Computer Science Doctoral Program.”A puzzled Kyle says, “I didn’t realize he was considering ASU!”“He wasn’t! The opportunity came up yesterday while you two were doing the paint-ball tournament. Ryan called them back last night and flew out this morning. It seems one of his professors recommended him for a fellowship grant last week. He didn’t want to worry you, so he wanted to hear them out before he said anything to you.”“Why would he be afraid I’d get worried?”“I didn’t get a chance to ask, but I assume it has to do with the three of us going separate ways. Except for your time in the Army we’ve been pretty inseparable for most of our lives.”“KK, we’ve all grown into adults with adult lives to live, and I’m OK with that. I can honestly say. Two days time, and my world would be locked in. I longed for Sunday. Not for the union, mind you, but for the release. I would stand at my father's side, watch him begin anew, and then pass like the happy little footnote I always supposed I'd be. Then I could return south. Back to the meaningless high school existence I knew. One thing was for certain. I would not be coming back.That night I crawled into bed, and pressed my face into my pillow. It was worn the way I liked it. I'd have to take it with me. And how fitting that it be the only goddamn thing I take. In a few moments my lids became so weighted with that old familiar self-pity, that I let them fall and rode that dragon of teen emo-angst into sleep.I dreamt I was at a carnival. I was watching a horrible magician perform magic tricks with playing cards. The guy was so obvious that a couple times he nearly dropped the card after making it 'disappear' behind his hand. For his final trick, he had everyone come close. I wanted to.
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